Oleg Atbashian is a Ukranian artist who worked as a propaganda artist for Communists in the Soviet Union. He moved in 1994 in the US, where he saw the delusional affection for Left and socialism of the most American intellectuals. He saw the worst of both worlds and lived to tell the tale in his book Shakedown Socialism: Unions, Pitchforks, Collective Greed, The Fallacy of Economic Equality, and other Optical Illusions of “Redistributive Justice, Greenleaf Press, 2010. I’ve found very amusing some thoughts that might be helpful in understanding some socialist fallacies .
The six dialectical contradictions of socialism in the USSR:
- There is full employment — yet no one is working.
- No one is working — yet the factory quotas are fulfilled.
- The factory quotas are fulfilled — yet the stores have nothing to sell.
- The stores have nothing to sell — yet people got all the stuff at home.
- People got all the stuff at home — yet everyone is complaining.
- Everyone is complaining — yet the voting is always unanimous.
American version of old Soviet “6 contradictions”:
- America is capitalist and greedy — yet half of the population is subsidized.
- Half of the population is subsidized — yet they think they are victims.
- They think they are victims — yet their representatives run the government.
- Their representatives run the government — yet the poor keep getting poorer.
- The poor keep getting poorer — yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about.
- They have things that people in other countries only dream about — yet they want America to be more like those other countries.
- Without capitalism there’d be no Hollywood — yet filmmakers hate capitalism.
- Filmmakers hate capitalism — yet they sue for unauthorized copying of their movies.
- They sue for unauthorized copying — yet on screen they teach us to share.
- On screen they teach us to share — yet they keep their millions to themselves.
- They keep their millions to themselves — yet they revel in stories of American misery and depravity.
- They revel in stories of American misery and depravity — yet they blame the resulting anti-American sentiment on conservatism.
- They blame the anti-American sentiment on conservatism — yet conservatism ensures the continuation of a system that makes Hollywood possible.
- Liberals believe they’re advancing people’s power — yet they don’t believe people can do anything right without their guidance.
- People can’t do anything right — yet the government bureaucracy can do everything.
- The government bureaucracy can do everything — yet liberals don’t like it when the government takes control of their lives.
- Liberals don’t like it when the government takes control of their lives — yet they vote for programs that increase people’s dependency on the government.
- They vote for programs that increase people’s dependency on the government — yet they believe they’re advancing people’s power.
Bush and the media:
- The media said Bush was dumb — yet he won over two intelligent Democrats.
- He won over two intelligent Democrats — yet the media said his ratings were hopeless.
- The media said his ratings were hopeless — yet the 2004 electoral map was red.
- The 2004 electoral map was red — yet the media said his policies failed.
- The media said his policies failed — yet the economy grew and the war was won.
- The economy grew and the war was won — yet the media said we needed “change.”
- Liberals have been in charge of education for 50 years — yet education is out of control.
- Education is out of control — yet liberal teaching methods prevail.
- Liberal teaching methods prevail — yet public schools are failing.
- Public schools are failing — yet their funding keeps growing.
- Their funding keeps growing — yet public schools are always underfunded.
- Public schools are always underfunded — yet private schools yield better results for less.
- Private schools yield better results for less — yet public education is the only way out of the crisis. (reference: Old Soviet-era jokes have become disturbingly applicable to the U.S.)